Things Domestic Oubliette Learnt since she last posted yesterday...

1) Don't go out for a few drinks with writing buddy and leave hubby alone with baking Christmas Cake.

2) Don't forget that the recipe you're using to bake your cake was written long before fan assisted ovens were even thought of.

3) Don't cry when it burns.

4) Don't go on a crusade over the little things in your child life.

5) When they want you to drop it - sometimes its just right to drop it.

6) Don't stay up watching 'There's Something About Mary' till after midnight. (No matter how funny it is.)

7)Sometime missing your writing targets isn't such a bad thing. Maybe the 900 words you came up with instead of the 4000 you were meant to, could be the best 900 words ever.

8) Sometimes, even if you didn't get slaughtered in a budget doesn't mean it was an okay budget.

9) Though, sometimes things just aren't fair.

10) There is one instance of the phrase 'domestic oubliette' other than my blog on the world wide web. There are no new ideas.

Things Domestic Oubliette Learnt since she last posted yesterday...

1) Don't go out for a few drinks with writing buddy and leave hubby alone with baking Christmas Cake.

2) Don't forget that the recipe you're using to bake your cake was written long before fan assisted ovens were even thought of.

3) Don't cry when it burns.

4) Don't go on a crusade over the little things in your child life.

5) When they want you to drop it - sometimes its just right to drop it.

6) Don't stay up watching 'There's Something About Mary' till after midnight. (No matter how funny it is.)

7)Sometime missing your writing targets isn't such a bad thing. Maybe the 900 words you came up with instead of the 4000 you were meant to, could be the best 900 words ever.

8) Sometimes, even if you didn't get slaughtered in a budget doesn't mean it was an okay budget.

9) Though, sometimes things just aren't fair.

10) There is one instance of the phrase 'domestic oubliette' other than my blog on the world wide web. There are no new ideas.

Shortlists, Christmas Cakes, Budget Cuts and Chapters to Write. (I've a lot on my mind today)

A lot on my mind.

I should have baked the Christmas cake last October like all the true domestic goddesses. Come Christmas day, my cake will crumble like a Fianna Fail politician in the face of a public service union. 'A bit immature' my mother will say, and I'll want to make like the cake and stamp my foot and storm off to my bedroom.

But, regardless, once I put down this laptop, off I'll trot to my kitchen and start the long, laborious process...

It'll take my mind off this afternoons budget though. 'Everyone' begrudgingly admits that Lenihan is the cleverest of the bunch of them (Not hard that said - my Christmas cake will have more brains than at least 96.7% of FFers.) I wonder what joys this budget will contain - it appears most of it has been leaked. Do hope there are no major surprises. Of course, I wouldn't say no if it contained a provision for all women, say, aged 37, and with an O in their names to get a brand new car. I think this would be a great initiative. We all know that women, aged 37 and with an 'O' in their names are big shoppers, and so, a new car would get them to the shops more often and therefore stimulate the economy. Phew. Goodness. I'm a great economic thinker. Who knew.

I wonder if my eggs are at room temperature yet? (No snickering at the back there.)

Can't start the cake till the eggs are warm.

Can't start till I've blogged either.

Why oh why don't I just buy a bloody cake? Its not as if anyone eats it round here...

So, what else has camped in my brain and is refusing to leave?

Ah, yes, was delighted to receive an email yesterday informing me of a shortlisting for a story wot I wrote for the 'Stop the Clocks' competition that one of the libraries was running there a few months ago. Various had received an email about her shortlisting agessssssssssssss ago, so I was despondent. Down. Drowning in feelings of wretchedness and worthlessness. I hadn't even gotten an acknowledgement of my entry! But, low, and behold. A pretty little email in my inbox yesterday informing me that I was shortlisted after all! Hurrah!

But the scales tipped once more - I won't be able to go on the night to find out who (me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me) has won :( I will have to rely on my arch rival MsV Cushions to let me know what happens... Can she be trusted? I think we all know the answer to that one...

Anyways. I best go.

Because not only do I have a cake to bake (which will take all day, I am not kidding, it is an epic undertaking), a budget to watch, and shortlisting glory to wallow in, but I am meeting writing chum tonight and AS USUAL I have precious little written. 400 words to be precises. Gah. Said I would have 4000. Oh well. So, let see if I can set some targets.

100 words before I collect the kids from school (remember, I have a cake to bake!)

1600 while I watch the budget.

800 After tea, and before chum arrives.

That'd be 2500 written today. Not ideal, but a damn sight better than nothing.

Okay. Must go.


Update:Forgot to get greaseproof paper - have to make a run to the shops. No writing going to be done before lunch :(

Shortlists, Christmas Cakes, Budget Cuts and Chapters to Write. (I've a lot on my mind today)

A lot on my mind.

I should have baked the Christmas cake last October like all the true domestic goddesses. Come Christmas day, my cake will crumble like a Fianna Fail politician in the face of a public service union. 'A bit immature' my mother will say, and I'll want to make like the cake and stamp my foot and storm off to my bedroom.

But, regardless, once I put down this laptop, off I'll trot to my kitchen and start the long, laborious process...

It'll take my mind off this afternoons budget though. 'Everyone' begrudgingly admits that Lenihan is the cleverest of the bunch of them (Not hard that said - my Christmas cake will have more brains than at least 96.7% of FFers.) I wonder what joys this budget will contain - it appears most of it has been leaked. Do hope there are no major surprises. Of course, I wouldn't say no if it contained a provision for all women, say, aged 37, and with an O in their names to get a brand new car. I think this would be a great initiative. We all know that women, aged 37 and with an 'O' in their names are big shoppers, and so, a new car would get them to the shops more often and therefore stimulate the economy. Phew. Goodness. I'm a great economic thinker. Who knew.

I wonder if my eggs are at room temperature yet? (No snickering at the back there.)

Can't start the cake till the eggs are warm.

Can't start till I've blogged either.

Why oh why don't I just buy a bloody cake? Its not as if anyone eats it round here...

So, what else has camped in my brain and is refusing to leave?

Ah, yes, was delighted to receive an email yesterday informing me of a shortlisting for a story wot I wrote for the 'Stop the Clocks' competition that one of the libraries was running there a few months ago. Various had received an email about her shortlisting agessssssssssssss ago, so I was despondent. Down. Drowning in feelings of wretchedness and worthlessness. I hadn't even gotten an acknowledgement of my entry! But, low, and behold. A pretty little email in my inbox yesterday informing me that I was shortlisted after all! Hurrah!

But the scales tipped once more - I won't be able to go on the night to find out who (me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me) has won :( I will have to rely on my arch rival MsV Cushions to let me know what happens... Can she be trusted? I think we all know the answer to that one...

Anyways. I best go.

Because not only do I have a cake to bake (which will take all day, I am not kidding, it is an epic undertaking), a budget to watch, and shortlisting glory to wallow in, but I am meeting writing chum tonight and AS USUAL I have precious little written. 400 words to be precises. Gah. Said I would have 4000. Oh well. So, let see if I can set some targets.

100 words before I collect the kids from school (remember, I have a cake to bake!)

1600 while I watch the budget.

800 After tea, and before chum arrives.

That'd be 2500 written today. Not ideal, but a damn sight better than nothing.

Okay. Must go.


Update:Forgot to get greaseproof paper - have to make a run to the shops. No writing going to be done before lunch :(

International put your Poem in a Shop Month - The Bandwagon Begins!

Well, I'm nothing if not a follower! Not so great with the original ideas, but not too bad at slavishly following someones else initiative.

Well, MsVarious, there are now TWO poems in shops as of a hour ago. I was pottering about in my fave place - The Orchard Garden Centre and Cafe on the Celbridge road, and I thought - I gotta put a poem in a shop. Of course, the problem was I didn't have a poem. So, over a large Americano, and as the baby poured chocolate milk over herself I penned this instantly forgettable poem...

Nonchalant gnomes, propagation domes,
Homes and Gardens beautiful
Bonsai, Birch, Gerbera, Poinsettia
Cushions, throws, aspirational a-plethora
Coffees and cakes among the shrubs, hoses and rakes
Feed our hunger and thirst.

Outside these high walls, recession calls
But, goddamn, they've got to catch me first.

So, I lurked like a giddy flasher, attempting the oh-so-casual positioning my poem. I felt like I was about to dump toxic waste on a kids playground, the urge not to litter is so strong. But, as Various says, I am adding to the cultural enrichment of our world... ahem. (All comparisons of my poem to toxic waste will be instantly deleted!)

And here's the proof!


Hurray for "International put your Poem in a Shop Month"!

International put your Poem in a Shop Month - The Bandwagon Begins!

Well, I'm nothing if not a follower! Not so great with the original ideas, but not too bad at slavishly following someones else initiative.

Well, MsVarious, there are now TWO poems in shops as of a hour ago. I was pottering about in my fave place - The Orchard Garden Centre and Cafe on the Celbridge road, and I thought - I gotta put a poem in a shop. Of course, the problem was I didn't have a poem. So, over a large Americano, and as the baby poured chocolate milk over herself I penned this instantly forgettable poem...

Nonchalant gnomes, propagation domes,
Homes and Gardens beautiful
Bonsai, Birch, Gerbera, Poinsettia
Cushions, throws, aspirational a-plethora
Coffees and cakes among the shrubs, hoses and rakes
Feed our hunger and thirst.

Outside these high walls, recession calls
But, goddamn, they've got to catch me first.

So, I lurked like a giddy flasher, attempting the oh-so-casual positioning my poem. I felt like I was about to dump toxic waste on a kids playground, the urge not to litter is so strong. But, as Various says, I am adding to the cultural enrichment of our world... ahem. (All comparisons of my poem to toxic waste will be instantly deleted!)

And here's the proof!


Hurray for "International put your Poem in a Shop Month"!

And the results are in!!!!!

Well, I'm not going to try to bluff this one out anymore.

Indeed my dear old friend Dave let the drunken partying cat out of the bag. I have of course been to London, many times, and have partied my once little ass of there...

1) I have bowed to the Emperor of Japan.

When I was twelve the then Crown Prince, and now Emperor, Akihito and his wife visited Ireland. His wife had been educated by Sacred Heart nuns, so quite fancied visiting a Sacred Heart school here in Ireland. I was educated by Sacred Heart nuns... I think you can fill in the gaps...

2) My mother drew pictures for Bosco.

Check out the last episode on Volume 2 of the Bosco dvd for my mothers wonderful illustrations :)

3) My cousin is a High Court judge.

The Hon. Mr Justice J Quirke. First cousin once removed or something... he wouldn't know me from Adam, but I am hoping when my deep dark criminal activities are uncovered I'll come up before dear old Cuz.

4) The most senior Garda in Ireland is my neighbour.

He is.

5) I had a letter condemning the death penalty published in the Irish Times.

Back when I used to give a damn about humanity. Now I say, kill everyone. Wonder would the Times print that one?

6) I am married to a Larry Gogan's Just A Minute quiz yearly finalist.

Has this got to a 'so uncool it's cool' point yet? He got a sodastream out of it...

7) I've never been to London, England.

Mr Oubliette came up with the lie. Honestly. Methinks his talents lie with useless trivia. I guess the questions just didn't suit me...

8) I have taken an overdose.

I was two and a half, and they used to make aspirin that tasted like orange tic-tacs. Stomach-pumping-tastic.

9) I have been proposed to twice by men wanting to escape different oppressive communist regimes.

The Cuban one was a doctor and all! What was I thinking turning him down? He could have learned to love me... Ahem, sorry Mr Oubliette - am so glad it didn't work out, where would I be without my Larry Gogan love kitten...

10)When I was three I told jokes about God.

Why is God in heaven?

Because he's stuck with glue!

Really, its a brilliant piece of wit. I should have been a stand up.