The D'Oub -Team!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
The D'Oub -Team!
Ten years ago a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These kids promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Lucan underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire...
The D'Oub -Team!
Ten years ago a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These kids promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Lucan underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire...
The D'Oub -Team!
Monday, September 27, 2010
Bus time!
Look, the Poetry Bus is going to be a five o'clock on a Monday thing for me - I'm just not organised enough to be at the stop on a Sunday.
Okay, now that we've got that clear, here's this weeks challenge. Set by the talented Ms Rachel Fox we were asked to write about a childhood tv/book/comic character. I chose my beloved Mr Benn. And as if by magic the poem appeared...
Okay, now that we've got that clear, here's this weeks challenge. Set by the talented Ms Rachel Fox we were asked to write about a childhood tv/book/comic character. I chose my beloved Mr Benn. And as if by magic the poem appeared...
Should Have Known, You Lived on Festive Road
Oh, Mr Benn!
My favourite among men,
when I was five years old.
I thought you were delish
Despite the fancy dress fetish
And the fact that you were
probably gay.
Oh, Mr Benn!
My favourite among men,
when I was five years old.
I thought you were delish
Despite the fancy dress fetish
And the fact that you were
probably gay.
Bus time!
Look, the Poetry Bus is going to be a five o'clock on a Monday thing for me - I'm just not organised enough to be at the stop on a Sunday.
Okay, now that we've got that clear, here's this weeks challenge. Set by the talented Ms Rachel Fox we were asked to write about a childhood tv/book/comic character. I chose my beloved Mr Benn. And as if by magic the poem appeared...
Okay, now that we've got that clear, here's this weeks challenge. Set by the talented Ms Rachel Fox we were asked to write about a childhood tv/book/comic character. I chose my beloved Mr Benn. And as if by magic the poem appeared...
Should Have Known, You Lived on Festive Road
Oh, Mr Benn!
My favourite among men,
when I was five years old.
I thought you were delish
Despite the fancy dress fetish
And the fact that you were
probably gay.
Oh, Mr Benn!
My favourite among men,
when I was five years old.
I thought you were delish
Despite the fancy dress fetish
And the fact that you were
probably gay.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Complains, strains and automobiles
Oh so busy.
Summer amnesia made us all forget that come September our lives would be turned upside down. I realise now that I should have been making like a marathon runner and training all summer just so I would be able for the pace once school started up again. (Or at the very least put some heavy investment into a decent selection of amphetamines.)
Gluttons for punishment we have added Cub scouts, Beaver Scouts, Junior Book club, Montessori (for Toddler Oub), and possible cricket to our list of activities. This joins swimming, running and music lessons on our schedule. Feck, I'm exhausted just reading that.
We did drop tennis though. (Didn't think they were going to make my fortune anytime soon with a tennis racket. Potential future earnings are my main criteria for the sports my children are signed up for.)
We're living the suburban middle-class dream. All I need is a cigarette, a pointy bra and a cheating husband and I'd be perfect for the cast of Mad Men.
So, what else is new?
We're getting a new car.
I say 'new' but obviously what with spoiling our offspring with the wealth of activities they do (and will no doubt look back on and resent us for - not enough alone time? exhaustion? burn out at aged 11?) we cannot afford a new car. Nor can we actually afford a good second hand car.
But, seeing as our current lemon has let me down again repeatedly this week (when one has to rely on a neighbour one barely knows to ferry one about the neighbourhood collecting children -my own, you understand, not just unfortunate children who happen to be loitering...) you know it's time to call it a day.
So, we've found a suspiciously cheap six-seater being sold by some dodgy looking bloke. My kind of deal. It arrives on Saturday. It's big enough to accommodate the new arrival when s/he arrives at Chrimbo. I think I'll be delighted if this car is still actually running by then.
Sigh. I best go. I guess I should have a look the speech therapy homework the therapist gave parents last week. Eldest child is doing group sessions for his stammer. Typically though the Oub child is the square peg. A huge part of the therapy is dealing with the child's stress/anxiety to do with the stammering and the vicious circle of stress/stuttering. What does my child answer to the questionnaire they gave them? Question One - How do you feel about your stammer? - Oub child answer - 'I don't care.' Question Two - Does it upset you? Oub child answer - 'See Above'. (he actually wrote, 'see above.' cheeky get...)
Sigh. We'll get there eventually I imagine...
I'm so tired.
I think I'll go back to bed.
Bye
(ps this post was written under extremely trying circumstances. I was made get up and dance by a semi-naked toddler to stoopid primary coloured creatures on children's tv, then she transformed into the Oubasaurus and attempted repeatedly to bite off my nose, and finally settled upon her dog impression where she kept licking my face. It's a tough life. So, if there are any typos, you understand...)
Summer amnesia made us all forget that come September our lives would be turned upside down. I realise now that I should have been making like a marathon runner and training all summer just so I would be able for the pace once school started up again. (Or at the very least put some heavy investment into a decent selection of amphetamines.)
Gluttons for punishment we have added Cub scouts, Beaver Scouts, Junior Book club, Montessori (for Toddler Oub), and possible cricket to our list of activities. This joins swimming, running and music lessons on our schedule. Feck, I'm exhausted just reading that.
We did drop tennis though. (Didn't think they were going to make my fortune anytime soon with a tennis racket. Potential future earnings are my main criteria for the sports my children are signed up for.)
We're living the suburban middle-class dream. All I need is a cigarette, a pointy bra and a cheating husband and I'd be perfect for the cast of Mad Men.
So, what else is new?
We're getting a new car.
I say 'new' but obviously what with spoiling our offspring with the wealth of activities they do (and will no doubt look back on and resent us for - not enough alone time? exhaustion? burn out at aged 11?) we cannot afford a new car. Nor can we actually afford a good second hand car.
But, seeing as our current lemon has let me down again repeatedly this week (when one has to rely on a neighbour one barely knows to ferry one about the neighbourhood collecting children -my own, you understand, not just unfortunate children who happen to be loitering...) you know it's time to call it a day.
So, we've found a suspiciously cheap six-seater being sold by some dodgy looking bloke. My kind of deal. It arrives on Saturday. It's big enough to accommodate the new arrival when s/he arrives at Chrimbo. I think I'll be delighted if this car is still actually running by then.
Sigh. I best go. I guess I should have a look the speech therapy homework the therapist gave parents last week. Eldest child is doing group sessions for his stammer. Typically though the Oub child is the square peg. A huge part of the therapy is dealing with the child's stress/anxiety to do with the stammering and the vicious circle of stress/stuttering. What does my child answer to the questionnaire they gave them? Question One - How do you feel about your stammer? - Oub child answer - 'I don't care.' Question Two - Does it upset you? Oub child answer - 'See Above'. (he actually wrote, 'see above.' cheeky get...)
Sigh. We'll get there eventually I imagine...
I'm so tired.
I think I'll go back to bed.
Bye
(ps this post was written under extremely trying circumstances. I was made get up and dance by a semi-naked toddler to stoopid primary coloured creatures on children's tv, then she transformed into the Oubasaurus and attempted repeatedly to bite off my nose, and finally settled upon her dog impression where she kept licking my face. It's a tough life. So, if there are any typos, you understand...)
Complains, strains and automobiles
Oh so busy.
Summer amnesia made us all forget that come September our lives would be turned upside down. I realise now that I should have been making like a marathon runner and training all summer just so I would be able for the pace once school started up again. (Or at the very least put some heavy investment into a decent selection of amphetamines.)
Gluttons for punishment we have added Cub scouts, Beaver Scouts, Junior Book club, Montessori (for Toddler Oub), and possible cricket to our list of activities. This joins swimming, running and music lessons on our schedule. Feck, I'm exhausted just reading that.
We did drop tennis though. (Didn't think they were going to make my fortune anytime soon with a tennis racket. Potential future earnings are my main criteria for the sports my children are signed up for.)
We're living the suburban middle-class dream. All I need is a cigarette, a pointy bra and a cheating husband and I'd be perfect for the cast of Mad Men.
So, what else is new?
We're getting a new car.
I say 'new' but obviously what with spoiling our offspring with the wealth of activities they do (and will no doubt look back on and resent us for - not enough alone time? exhaustion? burn out at aged 11?) we cannot afford a new car. Nor can we actually afford a good second hand car.
But, seeing as our current lemon has let me down again repeatedly this week (when one has to rely on a neighbour one barely knows to ferry one about the neighbourhood collecting children -my own, you understand, not just unfortunate children who happen to be loitering...) you know it's time to call it a day.
So, we've found a suspiciously cheap six-seater being sold by some dodgy looking bloke. My kind of deal. It arrives on Saturday. It's big enough to accommodate the new arrival when s/he arrives at Chrimbo. I think I'll be delighted if this car is still actually running by then.
Sigh. I best go. I guess I should have a look the speech therapy homework the therapist gave parents last week. Eldest child is doing group sessions for his stammer. Typically though the Oub child is the square peg. A huge part of the therapy is dealing with the child's stress/anxiety to do with the stammering and the vicious circle of stress/stuttering. What does my child answer to the questionnaire they gave them? Question One - How do you feel about your stammer? - Oub child answer - 'I don't care.' Question Two - Does it upset you? Oub child answer - 'See Above'. (he actually wrote, 'see above.' cheeky get...)
Sigh. We'll get there eventually I imagine...
I'm so tired.
I think I'll go back to bed.
Bye
(ps this post was written under extremely trying circumstances. I was made get up and dance by a semi-naked toddler to stoopid primary coloured creatures on children's tv, then she transformed into the Oubasaurus and attempted repeatedly to bite off my nose, and finally settled upon her dog impression where she kept licking my face. It's a tough life. So, if there are any typos, you understand...)
Summer amnesia made us all forget that come September our lives would be turned upside down. I realise now that I should have been making like a marathon runner and training all summer just so I would be able for the pace once school started up again. (Or at the very least put some heavy investment into a decent selection of amphetamines.)
Gluttons for punishment we have added Cub scouts, Beaver Scouts, Junior Book club, Montessori (for Toddler Oub), and possible cricket to our list of activities. This joins swimming, running and music lessons on our schedule. Feck, I'm exhausted just reading that.
We did drop tennis though. (Didn't think they were going to make my fortune anytime soon with a tennis racket. Potential future earnings are my main criteria for the sports my children are signed up for.)
We're living the suburban middle-class dream. All I need is a cigarette, a pointy bra and a cheating husband and I'd be perfect for the cast of Mad Men.
So, what else is new?
We're getting a new car.
I say 'new' but obviously what with spoiling our offspring with the wealth of activities they do (and will no doubt look back on and resent us for - not enough alone time? exhaustion? burn out at aged 11?) we cannot afford a new car. Nor can we actually afford a good second hand car.
But, seeing as our current lemon has let me down again repeatedly this week (when one has to rely on a neighbour one barely knows to ferry one about the neighbourhood collecting children -my own, you understand, not just unfortunate children who happen to be loitering...) you know it's time to call it a day.
So, we've found a suspiciously cheap six-seater being sold by some dodgy looking bloke. My kind of deal. It arrives on Saturday. It's big enough to accommodate the new arrival when s/he arrives at Chrimbo. I think I'll be delighted if this car is still actually running by then.
Sigh. I best go. I guess I should have a look the speech therapy homework the therapist gave parents last week. Eldest child is doing group sessions for his stammer. Typically though the Oub child is the square peg. A huge part of the therapy is dealing with the child's stress/anxiety to do with the stammering and the vicious circle of stress/stuttering. What does my child answer to the questionnaire they gave them? Question One - How do you feel about your stammer? - Oub child answer - 'I don't care.' Question Two - Does it upset you? Oub child answer - 'See Above'. (he actually wrote, 'see above.' cheeky get...)
Sigh. We'll get there eventually I imagine...
I'm so tired.
I think I'll go back to bed.
Bye
(ps this post was written under extremely trying circumstances. I was made get up and dance by a semi-naked toddler to stoopid primary coloured creatures on children's tv, then she transformed into the Oubasaurus and attempted repeatedly to bite off my nose, and finally settled upon her dog impression where she kept licking my face. It's a tough life. So, if there are any typos, you understand...)
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Memes and other fun stuff
Oh today was such a domestic, excitment-free day. A day that makes single, childless people look and point and laugh in ones direction.
Do you want to know what we did?
Try and stay awake.
1) We had to buy a new tumble dryer. The old one, for some reason decided after being run every day for the past ten years, to suddenly give up. Wimp. And seeing as Ireland has reverted to type, and is raining like the end of days at the moment, (and I have three children so inclined to dirt that it surprises me that social services haven't been round) a dryer is a necessity.
2) I bought a couple a new beakers for Toddler Oub.
3) A new kitchen timer was purchased.
4) We did the grocery shopping. Lidl for the bulk of things, Aldi for all the posh stuff. Tescos is like Harrods to us.
Really, I know, you would love to be swapping lives with me right now.
The highlight of the day though was that I paid a quick visit to TK Maxx. In the craft section I found a four pack of American Craft Thickers for 8.99! Of course, 99.9% of you now are going 'huh?!' But there is that .1% of ye who are going, 'What, a four pack of American Craft Thickers for only 8.99!! You jammy bastard.'
All this was done today with a poor sick Toddler Oub in tow. She woke up last night barking like a circus seal. My mammy sense tingled and I diagnosed a case of the croup. Poor baby. But really, nearly as embarrassing as the wimpy tumble dryer. You expect your kids to pick up more colds etc once they start preschool - but really, she's only been there a week - and for three days of that there were no other children!
But, just so the day won't be a complete waste, I'm going to accept the meme challenge laid down on Titus' blog.
Eight questions to be answered...
1. Why did you start blogging?
Probably as a way of avoiding all the things I should be doing. But I think I felt driven to start blogging by various female newspaper journalist who write regular columns on domestic life. I felt I could do better. Hmmm. Lets just say, two years on the paper editors have yet to sack those writers, and I'm still languishing, unappreciated, in my damp oubliette.
2. If you could travel anywhere in the world with no restriction of costs, where would it be and why?
Can I answer 'Everywhere'? I love to travel, and I find it hard to pick one place over anywhere else. All I ask is that I travel in complete luxury, nothing less than first class and five stars.
3. Did you have a teacher in school that had a great influence on your life? If so, what?
My mother said that if she went to one more parent/teacher meeting where she was told I was 'very quiet' she'd tear her hair out. So, Mrs Quinlan my history teacher gets the nod here, as she was probably the only teacher who could have picked me out of a line up. That said, her name wasn't Mrs Quinlan, I actually can't remember what it was, so in a way, the tables have been turned, and they're all an anonymous irrelevance to me now...
4. If you could spend the day with a famous person, who would it be, and what would you do?
Easy. It would be Eric Cantona. And what would I do? I'd try to snog him. The whole day.
5. Toilet paper – over or under?
This question caused a little uncomfortable confusion over on Titus' blog when she posted it. To answer it clearly, I am a firm believer that OVER is the only way. The true and right path. Toilet roll must be hung, with the sheets hanging over. Anything else offends the natural order of things.
6. Name one thing in your life that you would do over if possible.
I'd actually value my size ten figure and try and hold onto it with a drowning man's desperate clawing, grasping, frantic, manic, crazed, rabid, demented, grappling determination.
7. Tell about your pets – if any.
No pets. Allergic children. Bah.
8. Do you live in a small town or a large town.
We live in a delightful suburb of the largest city in the country! Yes. We're number one! We're number one! In your face Cork!
Now, there you go. Well, to finish my over exciting day I'm off to watch X-Factor and convince Mr Oub to put the kids to bed. Sigh, domestic bliss.
Do you want to know what we did?
Try and stay awake.
1) We had to buy a new tumble dryer. The old one, for some reason decided after being run every day for the past ten years, to suddenly give up. Wimp. And seeing as Ireland has reverted to type, and is raining like the end of days at the moment, (and I have three children so inclined to dirt that it surprises me that social services haven't been round) a dryer is a necessity.
2) I bought a couple a new beakers for Toddler Oub.
3) A new kitchen timer was purchased.
4) We did the grocery shopping. Lidl for the bulk of things, Aldi for all the posh stuff. Tescos is like Harrods to us.
Really, I know, you would love to be swapping lives with me right now.
The highlight of the day though was that I paid a quick visit to TK Maxx. In the craft section I found a four pack of American Craft Thickers for 8.99! Of course, 99.9% of you now are going 'huh?!' But there is that .1% of ye who are going, 'What, a four pack of American Craft Thickers for only 8.99!! You jammy bastard.'
All this was done today with a poor sick Toddler Oub in tow. She woke up last night barking like a circus seal. My mammy sense tingled and I diagnosed a case of the croup. Poor baby. But really, nearly as embarrassing as the wimpy tumble dryer. You expect your kids to pick up more colds etc once they start preschool - but really, she's only been there a week - and for three days of that there were no other children!
But, just so the day won't be a complete waste, I'm going to accept the meme challenge laid down on Titus' blog.
Eight questions to be answered...
1. Why did you start blogging?
Probably as a way of avoiding all the things I should be doing. But I think I felt driven to start blogging by various female newspaper journalist who write regular columns on domestic life. I felt I could do better. Hmmm. Lets just say, two years on the paper editors have yet to sack those writers, and I'm still languishing, unappreciated, in my damp oubliette.
2. If you could travel anywhere in the world with no restriction of costs, where would it be and why?
Can I answer 'Everywhere'? I love to travel, and I find it hard to pick one place over anywhere else. All I ask is that I travel in complete luxury, nothing less than first class and five stars.
3. Did you have a teacher in school that had a great influence on your life? If so, what?
My mother said that if she went to one more parent/teacher meeting where she was told I was 'very quiet' she'd tear her hair out. So, Mrs Quinlan my history teacher gets the nod here, as she was probably the only teacher who could have picked me out of a line up. That said, her name wasn't Mrs Quinlan, I actually can't remember what it was, so in a way, the tables have been turned, and they're all an anonymous irrelevance to me now...
4. If you could spend the day with a famous person, who would it be, and what would you do?
Easy. It would be Eric Cantona. And what would I do? I'd try to snog him. The whole day.
5. Toilet paper – over or under?
This question caused a little uncomfortable confusion over on Titus' blog when she posted it. To answer it clearly, I am a firm believer that OVER is the only way. The true and right path. Toilet roll must be hung, with the sheets hanging over. Anything else offends the natural order of things.
6. Name one thing in your life that you would do over if possible.
I'd actually value my size ten figure and try and hold onto it with a drowning man's desperate clawing, grasping, frantic, manic, crazed, rabid, demented, grappling determination.
7. Tell about your pets – if any.
No pets. Allergic children. Bah.
8. Do you live in a small town or a large town.
We live in a delightful suburb of the largest city in the country! Yes. We're number one! We're number one! In your face Cork!
Now, there you go. Well, to finish my over exciting day I'm off to watch X-Factor and convince Mr Oub to put the kids to bed. Sigh, domestic bliss.
Memes and other fun stuff
Oh today was such a domestic, excitment-free day. A day that makes single, childless people look and point and laugh in ones direction.
Do you want to know what we did?
Try and stay awake.
1) We had to buy a new tumble dryer. The old one, for some reason decided after being run every day for the past ten years, to suddenly give up. Wimp. And seeing as Ireland has reverted to type, and is raining like the end of days at the moment, (and I have three children so inclined to dirt that it surprises me that social services haven't been round) a dryer is a necessity.
2) I bought a couple a new beakers for Toddler Oub.
3) A new kitchen timer was purchased.
4) We did the grocery shopping. Lidl for the bulk of things, Aldi for all the posh stuff. Tescos is like Harrods to us.
Really, I know, you would love to be swapping lives with me right now.
The highlight of the day though was that I paid a quick visit to TK Maxx. In the craft section I found a four pack of American Craft Thickers for 8.99! Of course, 99.9% of you now are going 'huh?!' But there is that .1% of ye who are going, 'What, a four pack of American Craft Thickers for only 8.99!! You jammy bastard.'
All this was done today with a poor sick Toddler Oub in tow. She woke up last night barking like a circus seal. My mammy sense tingled and I diagnosed a case of the croup. Poor baby. But really, nearly as embarrassing as the wimpy tumble dryer. You expect your kids to pick up more colds etc once they start preschool - but really, she's only been there a week - and for three days of that there were no other children!
But, just so the day won't be a complete waste, I'm going to accept the meme challenge laid down on Titus' blog.
Eight questions to be answered...
1. Why did you start blogging?
Probably as a way of avoiding all the things I should be doing. But I think I felt driven to start blogging by various female newspaper journalist who write regular columns on domestic life. I felt I could do better. Hmmm. Lets just say, two years on the paper editors have yet to sack those writers, and I'm still languishing, unappreciated, in my damp oubliette.
2. If you could travel anywhere in the world with no restriction of costs, where would it be and why?
Can I answer 'Everywhere'? I love to travel, and I find it hard to pick one place over anywhere else. All I ask is that I travel in complete luxury, nothing less than first class and five stars.
3. Did you have a teacher in school that had a great influence on your life? If so, what?
My mother said that if she went to one more parent/teacher meeting where she was told I was 'very quiet' she'd tear her hair out. So, Mrs Quinlan my history teacher gets the nod here, as she was probably the only teacher who could have picked me out of a line up. That said, her name wasn't Mrs Quinlan, I actually can't remember what it was, so in a way, the tables have been turned, and they're all an anonymous irrelevance to me now...
4. If you could spend the day with a famous person, who would it be, and what would you do?
Easy. It would be Eric Cantona. And what would I do? I'd try to snog him. The whole day.
5. Toilet paper – over or under?
This question caused a little uncomfortable confusion over on Titus' blog when she posted it. To answer it clearly, I am a firm believer that OVER is the only way. The true and right path. Toilet roll must be hung, with the sheets hanging over. Anything else offends the natural order of things.
6. Name one thing in your life that you would do over if possible.
I'd actually value my size ten figure and try and hold onto it with a drowning man's desperate clawing, grasping, frantic, manic, crazed, rabid, demented, grappling determination.
7. Tell about your pets – if any.
No pets. Allergic children. Bah.
8. Do you live in a small town or a large town.
We live in a delightful suburb of the largest city in the country! Yes. We're number one! We're number one! In your face Cork!
Now, there you go. Well, to finish my over exciting day I'm off to watch X-Factor and convince Mr Oub to put the kids to bed. Sigh, domestic bliss.
Do you want to know what we did?
Try and stay awake.
1) We had to buy a new tumble dryer. The old one, for some reason decided after being run every day for the past ten years, to suddenly give up. Wimp. And seeing as Ireland has reverted to type, and is raining like the end of days at the moment, (and I have three children so inclined to dirt that it surprises me that social services haven't been round) a dryer is a necessity.
2) I bought a couple a new beakers for Toddler Oub.
3) A new kitchen timer was purchased.
4) We did the grocery shopping. Lidl for the bulk of things, Aldi for all the posh stuff. Tescos is like Harrods to us.
Really, I know, you would love to be swapping lives with me right now.
The highlight of the day though was that I paid a quick visit to TK Maxx. In the craft section I found a four pack of American Craft Thickers for 8.99! Of course, 99.9% of you now are going 'huh?!' But there is that .1% of ye who are going, 'What, a four pack of American Craft Thickers for only 8.99!! You jammy bastard.'
All this was done today with a poor sick Toddler Oub in tow. She woke up last night barking like a circus seal. My mammy sense tingled and I diagnosed a case of the croup. Poor baby. But really, nearly as embarrassing as the wimpy tumble dryer. You expect your kids to pick up more colds etc once they start preschool - but really, she's only been there a week - and for three days of that there were no other children!
But, just so the day won't be a complete waste, I'm going to accept the meme challenge laid down on Titus' blog.
Eight questions to be answered...
1. Why did you start blogging?
Probably as a way of avoiding all the things I should be doing. But I think I felt driven to start blogging by various female newspaper journalist who write regular columns on domestic life. I felt I could do better. Hmmm. Lets just say, two years on the paper editors have yet to sack those writers, and I'm still languishing, unappreciated, in my damp oubliette.
2. If you could travel anywhere in the world with no restriction of costs, where would it be and why?
Can I answer 'Everywhere'? I love to travel, and I find it hard to pick one place over anywhere else. All I ask is that I travel in complete luxury, nothing less than first class and five stars.
3. Did you have a teacher in school that had a great influence on your life? If so, what?
My mother said that if she went to one more parent/teacher meeting where she was told I was 'very quiet' she'd tear her hair out. So, Mrs Quinlan my history teacher gets the nod here, as she was probably the only teacher who could have picked me out of a line up. That said, her name wasn't Mrs Quinlan, I actually can't remember what it was, so in a way, the tables have been turned, and they're all an anonymous irrelevance to me now...
4. If you could spend the day with a famous person, who would it be, and what would you do?
Easy. It would be Eric Cantona. And what would I do? I'd try to snog him. The whole day.
5. Toilet paper – over or under?
This question caused a little uncomfortable confusion over on Titus' blog when she posted it. To answer it clearly, I am a firm believer that OVER is the only way. The true and right path. Toilet roll must be hung, with the sheets hanging over. Anything else offends the natural order of things.
6. Name one thing in your life that you would do over if possible.
I'd actually value my size ten figure and try and hold onto it with a drowning man's desperate clawing, grasping, frantic, manic, crazed, rabid, demented, grappling determination.
7. Tell about your pets – if any.
No pets. Allergic children. Bah.
8. Do you live in a small town or a large town.
We live in a delightful suburb of the largest city in the country! Yes. We're number one! We're number one! In your face Cork!
Now, there you go. Well, to finish my over exciting day I'm off to watch X-Factor and convince Mr Oub to put the kids to bed. Sigh, domestic bliss.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Lessons
OMG
You know how I said I was exhausted last post?
Well, double that and put a hat on it.
Toddler Oub has started playschool.
Well, except that in a way she hasn't.
Explanation?
Well, she was signed up for a nice little pre-school. Middle Oub child had gone there during his psychotic stage and everyone emerged unscathed (relatively speaking) so we quite like them. So we showed up on Monday. She would have empathised with Patrick Kavanagh's words...
"Oh, Alexander Selkirk knew the plight
Of being king and government and nation.
A road, a mile of kingdom, I am king
Of banks and stones and every blooming thing. "
ie - she was on her tod. Only little monster there.
It was always going to be a small class. Good news. But in a perfect toddler storm, each of her prospective class mate had withdrawn from the class for one perfectly reasonable reason or other.
Sigh.
What do you say to the embarrassed child care workers whom you've know for quite a few years?
Not much. You leave your child there and stomp off in a bad, bad mood.
Could this situation get any worse?
Of course it could!
When I returned the required two and a half hours later - the preschool manager had appeared. No special reason, just it was time for her to show her face. But, of course, this being my life, it was a new manager. A woman who I knew. A woman with whom I had a big problem and hadn't seen in about a year. Perfect.
So, what did I do?
Well, in true Irish style, we both pretended to be delighted to see each other and pretend we hadn't parted on difficult terms! Hurray for denial!
She muttered a few things about the missing classmates, muttered a few things about how she was sure they'd pick up a new one or two soon.
All the while my little darling ran around like a mad thing, obviously delighted to have made out like a posh rich child with their own private tutor, and private classroom, and all the toys in the known universe. Any surprise she had a blast??
So what to do?
Its a toughie.
Well. We brought her for the past three days. I'm not one to make snap decisions.
She's starting somewhere new tomorrow.
You know how I said I was exhausted last post?
Well, double that and put a hat on it.
Toddler Oub has started playschool.
Well, except that in a way she hasn't.
Explanation?
Well, she was signed up for a nice little pre-school. Middle Oub child had gone there during his psychotic stage and everyone emerged unscathed (relatively speaking) so we quite like them. So we showed up on Monday. She would have empathised with Patrick Kavanagh's words...
"Oh, Alexander Selkirk knew the plight
Of being king and government and nation.
A road, a mile of kingdom, I am king
Of banks and stones and every blooming thing. "
ie - she was on her tod. Only little monster there.
It was always going to be a small class. Good news. But in a perfect toddler storm, each of her prospective class mate had withdrawn from the class for one perfectly reasonable reason or other.
Sigh.
What do you say to the embarrassed child care workers whom you've know for quite a few years?
Not much. You leave your child there and stomp off in a bad, bad mood.
Could this situation get any worse?
Of course it could!
When I returned the required two and a half hours later - the preschool manager had appeared. No special reason, just it was time for her to show her face. But, of course, this being my life, it was a new manager. A woman who I knew. A woman with whom I had a big problem and hadn't seen in about a year. Perfect.
So, what did I do?
Well, in true Irish style, we both pretended to be delighted to see each other and pretend we hadn't parted on difficult terms! Hurray for denial!
She muttered a few things about the missing classmates, muttered a few things about how she was sure they'd pick up a new one or two soon.
All the while my little darling ran around like a mad thing, obviously delighted to have made out like a posh rich child with their own private tutor, and private classroom, and all the toys in the known universe. Any surprise she had a blast??
So what to do?
Its a toughie.
Well. We brought her for the past three days. I'm not one to make snap decisions.
She's starting somewhere new tomorrow.
Lessons
OMG
You know how I said I was exhausted last post?
Well, double that and put a hat on it.
Toddler Oub has started playschool.
Well, except that in a way she hasn't.
Explanation?
Well, she was signed up for a nice little pre-school. Middle Oub child had gone there during his psychotic stage and everyone emerged unscathed (relatively speaking) so we quite like them. So we showed up on Monday. She would have empathised with Patrick Kavanagh's words...
"Oh, Alexander Selkirk knew the plight
Of being king and government and nation.
A road, a mile of kingdom, I am king
Of banks and stones and every blooming thing. "
ie - she was on her tod. Only little monster there.
It was always going to be a small class. Good news. But in a perfect toddler storm, each of her prospective class mate had withdrawn from the class for one perfectly reasonable reason or other.
Sigh.
What do you say to the embarrassed child care workers whom you've know for quite a few years?
Not much. You leave your child there and stomp off in a bad, bad mood.
Could this situation get any worse?
Of course it could!
When I returned the required two and a half hours later - the preschool manager had appeared. No special reason, just it was time for her to show her face. But, of course, this being my life, it was a new manager. A woman who I knew. A woman with whom I had a big problem and hadn't seen in about a year. Perfect.
So, what did I do?
Well, in true Irish style, we both pretended to be delighted to see each other and pretend we hadn't parted on difficult terms! Hurray for denial!
She muttered a few things about the missing classmates, muttered a few things about how she was sure they'd pick up a new one or two soon.
All the while my little darling ran around like a mad thing, obviously delighted to have made out like a posh rich child with their own private tutor, and private classroom, and all the toys in the known universe. Any surprise she had a blast??
So what to do?
Its a toughie.
Well. We brought her for the past three days. I'm not one to make snap decisions.
She's starting somewhere new tomorrow.
You know how I said I was exhausted last post?
Well, double that and put a hat on it.
Toddler Oub has started playschool.
Well, except that in a way she hasn't.
Explanation?
Well, she was signed up for a nice little pre-school. Middle Oub child had gone there during his psychotic stage and everyone emerged unscathed (relatively speaking) so we quite like them. So we showed up on Monday. She would have empathised with Patrick Kavanagh's words...
"Oh, Alexander Selkirk knew the plight
Of being king and government and nation.
A road, a mile of kingdom, I am king
Of banks and stones and every blooming thing. "
ie - she was on her tod. Only little monster there.
It was always going to be a small class. Good news. But in a perfect toddler storm, each of her prospective class mate had withdrawn from the class for one perfectly reasonable reason or other.
Sigh.
What do you say to the embarrassed child care workers whom you've know for quite a few years?
Not much. You leave your child there and stomp off in a bad, bad mood.
Could this situation get any worse?
Of course it could!
When I returned the required two and a half hours later - the preschool manager had appeared. No special reason, just it was time for her to show her face. But, of course, this being my life, it was a new manager. A woman who I knew. A woman with whom I had a big problem and hadn't seen in about a year. Perfect.
So, what did I do?
Well, in true Irish style, we both pretended to be delighted to see each other and pretend we hadn't parted on difficult terms! Hurray for denial!
She muttered a few things about the missing classmates, muttered a few things about how she was sure they'd pick up a new one or two soon.
All the while my little darling ran around like a mad thing, obviously delighted to have made out like a posh rich child with their own private tutor, and private classroom, and all the toys in the known universe. Any surprise she had a blast??
So what to do?
Its a toughie.
Well. We brought her for the past three days. I'm not one to make snap decisions.
She's starting somewhere new tomorrow.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
What D'Oub Did Next
D'Oub tired. D'Oub exhausted.
D'Oub is in a near coma.
I doubt there will be a poetry bus contribution this week.
Why so shattered?
This is the tent we performed in - but that's not actually us. Unless five of us turned into one chick and a bloke with a guitar - that said, our poetry was so brilliant that we may have bent reality and altered the universe for a period.
Two blurry Divas
So, Saturday consisted of nothing much - apart from me going 'meep' alot and heading back to bed. The Picnic was just too much. When I bring my vision to the people, it takes me some time to regather my emotional energies.
The 'Lottie' about a week ago when the weeds had only conquered 95% of the known universe. It's a deceptive picture, as things don't look too bad. But don't be fooled. The weeds had donned their camouflage gear when they saw the camera come out. Bastards.
No picture of the place today, as we were too busy in hand to hand combat with the weeds. But thankfully we did actually get to harvest stuff! Potatoes! Mystery gourds! Puny garlic! Burly mange touts! Gnawed courgettes! A true bounty...
We then released the child slaves, and they ran wild. Feral chidren.
There endeth the post.
Jeez, and now I feel even more tired.
Goodnight!!!
D'Oub is in a near coma.
I doubt there will be a poetry bus contribution this week.
Why so shattered?
Exhibit A
Electric Picnic
I was lucky enough to join my Poetry Diva sisters performing at Electric Picnic on Friday evening. We recited, and forever changed the face of modern poetry with our collective brilliance.
This is the tent we performed in - but that's not actually us. Unless five of us turned into one chick and a bloke with a guitar - that said, our poetry was so brilliant that we may have bent reality and altered the universe for a period.
Two blurry Divas
So, Saturday consisted of nothing much - apart from me going 'meep' alot and heading back to bed. The Picnic was just too much. When I bring my vision to the people, it takes me some time to regather my emotional energies.
Exhibit B
Allotmenting
The poor Allotment hasn't been getting the attention it should - not due to lack of enthusiasm, more life getting in the bloody way. So, today was a big, drizzly, shout at the reluctant kids, fecking weeding, 'dammit are those rat bites on the courgettes?', duty day at the allotment.
The 'Lottie' about a week ago when the weeds had only conquered 95% of the known universe. It's a deceptive picture, as things don't look too bad. But don't be fooled. The weeds had donned their camouflage gear when they saw the camera come out. Bastards.
No picture of the place today, as we were too busy in hand to hand combat with the weeds. But thankfully we did actually get to harvest stuff! Potatoes! Mystery gourds! Puny garlic! Burly mange touts! Gnawed courgettes! A true bounty...We then released the child slaves, and they ran wild. Feral chidren.
Exhibit C
D'Oub on the Radio!
D'Oub Shows She has No Sense At All...
D'Oub on the Radio!
I was also on the radio AGAIN today! Back, Back, BACK! By popular demand, poor old Various Cushions succumbed to the mass mailings and Internet campaign to feature moi once again. It's tough being this popular - exhausting even! - but hopefully I didn't let my many, many, many fans (hi mum!) down today with my oh so witty show. I am sure, if you were being held hostage today, shackled in an attic, gagged and sedated (the only reason you'd have missed the show of course) Ms Cushions will have it pod casted HERE real soon...
Exhibit D
D'Oub Shows She has No Sense At All...
So, reason four D'Oub is so tired these days and shouldn't really be be gallivanting to music festivals, and radio shows and vegetable allotments...
Well, D'Oub decided there just wasn't enough D'Oubiness to go round, so being the creative sort, she roped in Mr D'Oub (tmi) and as if the world wasn't over populated enough, is in the process of cooking another little D'Oub junior. God help us all.
There endeth the post.
Jeez, and now I feel even more tired.
Goodnight!!!
What D'Oub Did Next
D'Oub tired. D'Oub exhausted.
D'Oub is in a near coma.
I doubt there will be a poetry bus contribution this week.
Why so shattered?
This is the tent we performed in - but that's not actually us. Unless five of us turned into one chick and a bloke with a guitar - that said, our poetry was so brilliant that we may have bent reality and altered the universe for a period.
Two blurry Divas
So, Saturday consisted of nothing much - apart from me going 'meep' alot and heading back to bed. The Picnic was just too much. When I bring my vision to the people, it takes me some time to regather my emotional energies.
The 'Lottie' about a week ago when the weeds had only conquered 95% of the known universe. It's a deceptive picture, as things don't look too bad. But don't be fooled. The weeds had donned their camouflage gear when they saw the camera come out. Bastards.
No picture of the place today, as we were too busy in hand to hand combat with the weeds. But thankfully we did actually get to harvest stuff! Potatoes! Mystery gourds! Puny garlic! Burly mange touts! Gnawed courgettes! A true bounty...
We then released the child slaves, and they ran wild. Feral chidren.
There endeth the post.
Jeez, and now I feel even more tired.
Goodnight!!!
D'Oub is in a near coma.
I doubt there will be a poetry bus contribution this week.
Why so shattered?
Exhibit A
Electric Picnic
I was lucky enough to join my Poetry Diva sisters performing at Electric Picnic on Friday evening. We recited, and forever changed the face of modern poetry with our collective brilliance.
This is the tent we performed in - but that's not actually us. Unless five of us turned into one chick and a bloke with a guitar - that said, our poetry was so brilliant that we may have bent reality and altered the universe for a period.Two blurry DivasSo, Saturday consisted of nothing much - apart from me going 'meep' alot and heading back to bed. The Picnic was just too much. When I bring my vision to the people, it takes me some time to regather my emotional energies.
Exhibit B
Allotmenting
The poor Allotment hasn't been getting the attention it should - not due to lack of enthusiasm, more life getting in the bloody way. So, today was a big, drizzly, shout at the reluctant kids, fecking weeding, 'dammit are those rat bites on the courgettes?', duty day at the allotment.
The 'Lottie' about a week ago when the weeds had only conquered 95% of the known universe. It's a deceptive picture, as things don't look too bad. But don't be fooled. The weeds had donned their camouflage gear when they saw the camera come out. Bastards.No picture of the place today, as we were too busy in hand to hand combat with the weeds. But thankfully we did actually get to harvest stuff! Potatoes! Mystery gourds! Puny garlic! Burly mange touts! Gnawed courgettes! A true bounty...We then released the child slaves, and they ran wild. Feral chidren.
Exhibit C
D'Oub on the Radio!
D'Oub Shows She has No Sense At All...
D'Oub on the Radio!
I was also on the radio AGAIN today! Back, Back, BACK! By popular demand, poor old Various Cushions succumbed to the mass mailings and Internet campaign to feature moi once again. It's tough being this popular - exhausting even! - but hopefully I didn't let my many, many, many fans (hi mum!) down today with my oh so witty show. I am sure, if you were being held hostage today, shackled in an attic, gagged and sedated (the only reason you'd have missed the show of course) Ms Cushions will have it pod casted HERE real soon...
Exhibit D
D'Oub Shows She has No Sense At All...
So, reason four D'Oub is so tired these days and shouldn't really be be gallivanting to music festivals, and radio shows and vegetable allotments...
Well, D'Oub decided there just wasn't enough D'Oubiness to go round, so being the creative sort, she roped in Mr D'Oub (tmi) and as if the world wasn't over populated enough, is in the process of cooking another little D'Oub junior. God help us all.
There endeth the post.
Jeez, and now I feel even more tired.
Goodnight!!!
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