Wednesday, December 21, 2011

I've Put A Bloody Poem in a Bloody Shop! Finally!

I cracked it!

I wrote a poem!

I was in the shower this morning. While washing my hair I spent a few moments pondering my friend, the Shower Spider. He lives in the top corner of my shower. He's been there aaaaages. I'd really hope there weren't enough flies knocking around my bathroom to keep him fed. But he has been there really quite some while. Hmmmmm.

He migrated briefly to the sink area, but that didn't last. He was soon back. Most sane people would have removed him by now, but I must admit I'm kinda fond of him. And the adrenaline rush each morning, wondering will this be the morning he finally falls on my nudee body, really sets you up for the day.

Well, anyway, whatever it was about spending some quality time with my arachnid friend, but a poem popped, practically fully formed, into my head! It's not Yeats. It's not even Pam Ayres. But, it is a poem, it is festive and it is perfect (enough) to PUT IN A SHOP!

YAY!!!

So, while doing my Christmas shopping, poem clutched to my sweaty little hands, I set about joining the illustrious ranks of the International Put Your Poem In A Shop Month brigade.

I wasn't very brave, I went into Homebase. Homebase near me is always deserted. I could probably run a writing summer school in the soft furnishing aisle and would be left unmolested the entire time. Sure, yes, it was missing the frisson of danger, but my life is just one wild crazy ride as it is, so it was no harm to dial down the insanity for a few short civilized moments.

Anyway, fifteen minutes later, I left Homebase with one really nice candle and without one really brilliant poem.

And here is the evidence -

Would you pay 15.59 (down from 17.99) for a 'handkerchief' vase? sounds unsanitary personally...



The close up!


And here it is just in case even my bestest writing isn't enough...

Dear Santa,
I've been a little bit naughty
But I've also been a little bit nice
What say you still give me a pressie
And we'll go halvsies on the price.


Hurray!!!!

12 comments:

Emerging Writer said...

You have the dempsey seal of approval - Grace laughed out loud when I read it.
Go Oub!

Niamh B said...

bloody nice one!! y'see genius strikes

don't bring your spider to the shower

Domestic Oub said...

Thank you thank you thank you. Delighted with myself :) and special thanks go to Spidey as well.

Rachel Fox said...

Now you can relax and enjoy the holiday. Ha!
x

Louise said...

And so pretty as well!x

Peter Goulding said...

Remember - when those handkerchief vases are gone, they're definitely gone.
Lovely addition to the genre (the poem not the vase) And don't forget its often harder to leave a poem in an empty shop!

Peter Goulding said...

Remember - when those handkerchief vases are gone, they're definitely gone.
Lovely addition to the genre (the poem not the vase) And don't forget its often harder to leave a poem in an empty shop!

Domestic Oub said...

Thanks everyone - I just delighted to have taken part :)

Titus said...

Hip Hip Hooray! It's a Bruce moment all over, you realise that, don't you? And this is not just a poem. This is a hand-crafted, decorated poem.

Can I come to your Summer School?

Dominic Rivron said...

Great! And the next? Keep 'em comin'!

There is a frisson generated by wanton unorthodoxy of the whole business. I was challenged in a shopping centre for taking a photograph but the security man was terribly nice about it. He thanked me for assisting him. How I'd assisted him -apart from adding meaning to his working life- I can't imagine.

The Bug said...

I'm just getting caught up - this is brilliant!

Kat Mortensen said...

That must have given a few people a good laugh! I'd love to see the faces of people who come across these poems. Too bad we can't have hidden cameras as well.