Monday, October 12, 2009

Monday Poem

Here we go with TFE's last minute challenge... The pic below is the one I used...


Grey gathers overhead.
the first drops, drip.
Our very own private hurricane.

Ravenous gales rush the kitchen
A twister kicks and smashes like a skinheaded yob
through our living room
The eye of the storm sits quietly on our bed.

I run for cover under a table,
but you dance, waltz, foxtrot, jive with the storm.
Exhausted, eventually, it leaves.
It always does.

And after, we pick up the pieces,
wooden splinters stabbing our palms
glass shards embedding in our knees
rats and stagnant filthy water squelch underfoot.

You smile and say its great
You feel alive
I nod, damp and sore.


Totalfeckineejit said...

Nice one D'Oub, no one else thought of a tornado!Ilove that the 'twister kicks like a skinhead' while 'the eye of the storm sits quietly on our bed' but best of all is 'but you dance, waltz, foxtrot, jive with the storm' Such a great image and such wry humour for a disaster.This poem is no disaster though.I really like it.Deadly! Tanks ye!

Dominic Rivron said...

Gloriously surreal! Captures a very realistic contrast in personalities at the same time.

Titus said...

Oh, I loved this - first, because it's very good writing and second because it rings so many bells for me! I'm the smiler.
Lovely, gets better with each reading.

Argent said...

This is a great poem! I'm with TFE on the 'twister...' bit. Such a whirling carousel of images left me out of breath almost. Kudos!

Kat Mortensen said...

Lots of really memorable images. I think your skinhead made his way into my interpretation of the same pic.

Anonymous said...

Tornado! That's great thinking! Enjoyed reading this, especially as there's a raging storm outside here, giving even more atmosphere to your wonderful poem.

Dr. Jeanne Iris said...

I love your use of metaphor here linking children to storms. Your imagery whirls that photograph into our lives.

Niamh B said...

That is a fantastic, atmosphere packed poem. I love it.

Drama Queen said...

Best Ever,Oub! Imaginative, coherent, and so full of life.

Emerging Writer said...

I enjoyed the hinted at eventful visit. What happened next?

Domestic Oub said...

Thanks everyone!

Rachel Fox said...

I like this - it's confident, feisty, knows where it's going.