Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Late Bus

A bit late for the bus this week - thought I'd be walking really, I'm so late. But, you know, sometimes you just have to push yourself, run to catch up and take that leap aboard.

This week the bus is been driven by Chiccoreal and the task is to write a poem on the first thing you think or do in the morning. Here's my effort...


Morning

Lying, duvet still my first skin
I contemplate the wardrobe at the
bottom of my bed.
He pollutes my bedroom view
monolithic oak-esque slab
gigantic gormless
looming formless eyesore
A brick shithouse bouncer
Big and basic
guarding tops and trousers
bought for comfort not
for comment.
There's something Soviet
in its ugly utilitarian
mournfulness
and in the last fake night of
curtains and blinds
it reminds me of all that's
futile
and night's febrile thoughts
linger longer
joining me in my
contemplation of our silent lodger
and his stoic silence.
As the chaos clatters from downstairs
I stay still staring at
my morose clothes companion
children fighting, watching tv
in pyjamas with school bells
five minutes soon.
husband long gone or rattle
battling instant coffee into
travel mug, ignoring the
skiving offspring
and still me and my wardrobe
compete our silent duel
who'll blink first.

10 comments:

Niamh B said...

great, really like night's febrile thoughts, and the finish is lovely. I wanna know who won!

Jinksy said...

Do hope the wardrobe wasn't the winner in the long run! lol

Domestic Oub said...

Thanks Niamh :)

And Jinksy, it's a conflict that is repeated every morning, sometimes I win, sometimes the wardrobe... :o)

Totalfeckineejit said...

The D'Oub is back! I liked that one, some great lines....'tops and trousers bought for comfort not
for comment'.......'and in the last fake night of
curtains and blinds it reminds me of all that's futile and night's febrile thoughts linger longer'

Ahh, poetry!

Like the blinking punchline too!

The Dead Acorn said...

Wow.

Erratic Thoughts said...

:D This was very very interesting!
"guarding tops and trousers bought for comfort not for comment" so true...that's rule number one when I shop:)
"morose clothes companion" :D too good!
Truly excellent take on the prompt...

Domestic Oub said...

TFE - Thank you, and you know, I can never really stay away from The Bus.

DA - I'm going to bask in that WOW and banish the sarcastic chorus in my head :)

ET - Thanks for reading :o) Im glad you enjoyed it!

Argent said...

Brill! "gigantic gormless
looming formless eyesore" - loved that! It's a real art, making something as commonplace as waking up into a story of suspense.

Peter Goulding said...

Brilliant personification here. My wife would say the wardrobe reminds her of me. Great fun

Titus said...

How did I miss this! Really quite outstanding writing - loved it!