Cause we have a problem.
Mr Oub spent sometime recently putting up five long high capacity shelves. Our books had been living out in the shed for the past few month since we demolished a wall and had no where else to put them. Amazingly the cold and damp didn't destroy them. Odd. But I guess we all knew there was something inherently sinister about chick lit novels.
So, here is a pic of Mr Oub's handy work. And I suspect you see a problem. There is only a teensy bit of space at the top for all the books we expect to acquire during the rest of our lives. And, if I could be arsed to get up off the sofa and stop drinking so much wine, that could be at least forty years from now.
I've tried thinning them out. Rather like the children, I really should dispatch them to a better home, but I just get so sentimental and can't be without any of them. Even when, (again like the children) they're rubbish. (Only kidding Oub kiddies! Honestly. Only one or two of you are rubbish.)
So, perhaps more shelves? Where? The whole bloody house is coming down with the things.
For example -
The livingroom. Of course these generally are only our best books. Our best literary towels for visitors. Books that make us look fierce well read and intellectual. As long as no one inspects the virgins spines we might just pull that off.
Do you like how Mr Oub has colour coded the books for a pleasing aesthetic? It does mean a few potboilers sneak in just for their good looks. But isn't that always the way in life, that good looks will get your farther than you deserve?
You wouldn't believe the dust these collect. Perhaps if we read them once in a while?
So, to upstairs. Any space here? Nope. In the bedroom? Bedrooms are meant to be calm restful spaces with little clutter and few distractions. Hence mine is jammers full. And I'm always tired.
Even the much maligned Oub children have books coming out their ears.
No one should think that this post is some sort of false modesty effort - 'oh woe is me, look at all these books (I am so intellectual!!!! Be impressed!!)' Anyone who was reading VariousCushions blog recently will know I publicly admitted my desperate ignorance of modern classics. I had not only not read any of the books she had listed, but hadn't even heard of many of the authors. If they haven't been name checked in Heat magazine, I'm all adrift.
This post is a cry for help. Whether it's the directions to Book Hoarders Anonymous, or an exhortation to adopt Various' Chinese-like concept of a 'One Shelf' policy (What is with the books/children analogies today?) I need help.
Or I need a Kindle.
If I don't get a Kindle, and in fact one for each member of the family you could be reading about us in the papers soon. 'Nobbled by Novels!', 'Books Bury Brood!', 'The Dangers of Reading - family found under killer mountain of cheap paperbacks.'
I think you, my reader, need to pass around the hat. Get the collection boxes rattling. Six shiny new Kindles, and you could save a life!
Yes YOU, could be a hero!
(I'll have my kindle in the orange leather case. ta.)