Well, I'm not going to try to bluff this one out anymore.
Indeed my dear old friend Dave let the drunken partying cat out of the bag. I have of course been to London, many times, and have partied my once little ass of there...
1) I have bowed to the Emperor of Japan.
When I was twelve the then Crown Prince, and now Emperor, Akihito and his wife visited Ireland. His wife had been educated by Sacred Heart nuns, so quite fancied visiting a Sacred Heart school here in Ireland. I was educated by Sacred Heart nuns... I think you can fill in the gaps...
2) My mother drew pictures for Bosco.
Check out the last episode on Volume 2 of the Bosco dvd for my mothers wonderful illustrations :)
3) My cousin is a High Court judge.
The Hon. Mr Justice J Quirke. First cousin once removed or something... he wouldn't know me from Adam, but I am hoping when my deep dark criminal activities are uncovered I'll come up before dear old Cuz.
4) The most senior Garda in Ireland is my neighbour.
He is.
5) I had a letter condemning the death penalty published in the Irish Times.
Back when I used to give a damn about humanity. Now I say, kill everyone. Wonder would the Times print that one?
6) I am married to a Larry Gogan's Just A Minute quiz yearly finalist.
Has this got to a 'so uncool it's cool' point yet? He got a sodastream out of it...
7) I've never been to London, England.
Mr Oubliette came up with the lie. Honestly. Methinks his talents lie with useless trivia. I guess the questions just didn't suit me...
8) I have taken an overdose.
I was two and a half, and they used to make aspirin that tasted like orange tic-tacs. Stomach-pumping-tastic.
9) I have been proposed to twice by men wanting to escape different oppressive communist regimes.
The Cuban one was a doctor and all! What was I thinking turning him down? He could have learned to love me... Ahem, sorry Mr Oubliette - am so glad it didn't work out, where would I be without my Larry Gogan love kitten...
10)When I was three I told jokes about God.
Why is God in heaven?
Because he's stuck with glue!
Really, its a brilliant piece of wit. I should have been a stand up.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
And the results are in!!!!!
Well, I'm not going to try to bluff this one out anymore.
Indeed my dear old friend Dave let the drunken partying cat out of the bag. I have of course been to London, many times, and have partied my once little ass of there...
1) I have bowed to the Emperor of Japan.
When I was twelve the then Crown Prince, and now Emperor, Akihito and his wife visited Ireland. His wife had been educated by Sacred Heart nuns, so quite fancied visiting a Sacred Heart school here in Ireland. I was educated by Sacred Heart nuns... I think you can fill in the gaps...
2) My mother drew pictures for Bosco.
Check out the last episode on Volume 2 of the Bosco dvd for my mothers wonderful illustrations :)
3) My cousin is a High Court judge.
The Hon. Mr Justice J Quirke. First cousin once removed or something... he wouldn't know me from Adam, but I am hoping when my deep dark criminal activities are uncovered I'll come up before dear old Cuz.
4) The most senior Garda in Ireland is my neighbour.
He is.
5) I had a letter condemning the death penalty published in the Irish Times.
Back when I used to give a damn about humanity. Now I say, kill everyone. Wonder would the Times print that one?
6) I am married to a Larry Gogan's Just A Minute quiz yearly finalist.
Has this got to a 'so uncool it's cool' point yet? He got a sodastream out of it...
7) I've never been to London, England.
Mr Oubliette came up with the lie. Honestly. Methinks his talents lie with useless trivia. I guess the questions just didn't suit me...
8) I have taken an overdose.
I was two and a half, and they used to make aspirin that tasted like orange tic-tacs. Stomach-pumping-tastic.
9) I have been proposed to twice by men wanting to escape different oppressive communist regimes.
The Cuban one was a doctor and all! What was I thinking turning him down? He could have learned to love me... Ahem, sorry Mr Oubliette - am so glad it didn't work out, where would I be without my Larry Gogan love kitten...
10)When I was three I told jokes about God.
Why is God in heaven?
Because he's stuck with glue!
Really, its a brilliant piece of wit. I should have been a stand up.
Indeed my dear old friend Dave let the drunken partying cat out of the bag. I have of course been to London, many times, and have partied my once little ass of there...
1) I have bowed to the Emperor of Japan.
When I was twelve the then Crown Prince, and now Emperor, Akihito and his wife visited Ireland. His wife had been educated by Sacred Heart nuns, so quite fancied visiting a Sacred Heart school here in Ireland. I was educated by Sacred Heart nuns... I think you can fill in the gaps...
2) My mother drew pictures for Bosco.
Check out the last episode on Volume 2 of the Bosco dvd for my mothers wonderful illustrations :)
3) My cousin is a High Court judge.
The Hon. Mr Justice J Quirke. First cousin once removed or something... he wouldn't know me from Adam, but I am hoping when my deep dark criminal activities are uncovered I'll come up before dear old Cuz.
4) The most senior Garda in Ireland is my neighbour.
He is.
5) I had a letter condemning the death penalty published in the Irish Times.
Back when I used to give a damn about humanity. Now I say, kill everyone. Wonder would the Times print that one?
6) I am married to a Larry Gogan's Just A Minute quiz yearly finalist.
Has this got to a 'so uncool it's cool' point yet? He got a sodastream out of it...
7) I've never been to London, England.
Mr Oubliette came up with the lie. Honestly. Methinks his talents lie with useless trivia. I guess the questions just didn't suit me...
8) I have taken an overdose.
I was two and a half, and they used to make aspirin that tasted like orange tic-tacs. Stomach-pumping-tastic.
9) I have been proposed to twice by men wanting to escape different oppressive communist regimes.
The Cuban one was a doctor and all! What was I thinking turning him down? He could have learned to love me... Ahem, sorry Mr Oubliette - am so glad it didn't work out, where would I be without my Larry Gogan love kitten...
10)When I was three I told jokes about God.
Why is God in heaven?
Because he's stuck with glue!
Really, its a brilliant piece of wit. I should have been a stand up.
Odd One Out! (Yes, me too!)
I'm most intrigued by this latest craze sweeping blogland.
Ten facts about yourself. One of which is false. Can you guess which one??
Here are my ten - which one is nonsense?
1) I have bowed to the Emperor of Japan.
2) My mother drew pictures for Bosco.
3) My cousin is a High Court judge.
4) The most senior Garda in Ireland is my neighbour.
5) I had a letter condemning the death penalty published in the Irish Times.
6) I am married to a Larry Gogan's Just A Minute quiz yearly finalist.
7) I've never been to London, England.
8) I have taken an overdose.
9) I have been proposed to twice by men wanting to escape different oppressive communist regimes.
10)When I was three I told jokes about God.
Ten facts about yourself. One of which is false. Can you guess which one??
Here are my ten - which one is nonsense?
1) I have bowed to the Emperor of Japan.
2) My mother drew pictures for Bosco.
3) My cousin is a High Court judge.
4) The most senior Garda in Ireland is my neighbour.
5) I had a letter condemning the death penalty published in the Irish Times.
6) I am married to a Larry Gogan's Just A Minute quiz yearly finalist.
7) I've never been to London, England.
8) I have taken an overdose.
9) I have been proposed to twice by men wanting to escape different oppressive communist regimes.
10)When I was three I told jokes about God.
Odd One Out! (Yes, me too!)
I'm most intrigued by this latest craze sweeping blogland.
Ten facts about yourself. One of which is false. Can you guess which one??
Here are my ten - which one is nonsense?
1) I have bowed to the Emperor of Japan.
2) My mother drew pictures for Bosco.
3) My cousin is a High Court judge.
4) The most senior Garda in Ireland is my neighbour.
5) I had a letter condemning the death penalty published in the Irish Times.
6) I am married to a Larry Gogan's Just A Minute quiz yearly finalist.
7) I've never been to London, England.
8) I have taken an overdose.
9) I have been proposed to twice by men wanting to escape different oppressive communist regimes.
10)When I was three I told jokes about God.
Ten facts about yourself. One of which is false. Can you guess which one??
Here are my ten - which one is nonsense?
1) I have bowed to the Emperor of Japan.
2) My mother drew pictures for Bosco.
3) My cousin is a High Court judge.
4) The most senior Garda in Ireland is my neighbour.
5) I had a letter condemning the death penalty published in the Irish Times.
6) I am married to a Larry Gogan's Just A Minute quiz yearly finalist.
7) I've never been to London, England.
8) I have taken an overdose.
9) I have been proposed to twice by men wanting to escape different oppressive communist regimes.
10)When I was three I told jokes about God.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
I should be doing something else
I'm blogging as usual because I should be doing something else. Anything else. The baby is in her pyjamas still and it is 11 am. I, you'll be glad to hear, am dressed.
The TV is on - children's chirpy chirpy smiley smiley smack them all in the gob telly. We watch too much telly in this house. When I refused to put it on the other day, the baby checked the scart cables to see if that was why it wouldn't come on. I am serious. I was part proud. Part shamed.
So, here specifically is what I 'm avoiding
1) Dressing baby.
2) Writing my novel.
I have my Millionaire Authors Club meeting tonight. Its been about three weeks since we last met and I haven't written a word. And, yet, with the clock ticking Poe-like, I'm still not putting finger to keyboard. And I only have two chapters left of my epic boooook. You'd think I'd put everyone out of their misery and just finished the horrid thing.
But no, I procrastinate still.
Here's a haiku about my problem. But that said I'm feeling too lazy to even google the rules of haiku so its probably not really even a proper one. I could just call it a very short poem?
Sigh. Even the telly is boring baby now - she's rolling on the floor humming to herself. Sorta like the mad polar bears in Dublin zoo who used to just walk up and down and up and down, swaying gently, insanely.
Okay. baby steps.
700 words before one o'clock. Break. Coffee, lunch etc. Pick up elder Oubliette spawn. 700 words while they chillax after their tough day at school. Feed and shout at the children till about 6pm. Then 700 words before 8 o'clock when I must depart for M.A.C. That would have the chapter finished.
I can do it!
Perhaps.
Update: 1000 words done by 1 o'clock! We're ahead of schedule. Time for coffee.
Update 2: 1500 by dinner time...
Update 3: 2600 words by 8 o'clock! Hurrah! And chapter finished!
The TV is on - children's chirpy chirpy smiley smiley smack them all in the gob telly. We watch too much telly in this house. When I refused to put it on the other day, the baby checked the scart cables to see if that was why it wouldn't come on. I am serious. I was part proud. Part shamed.
So, here specifically is what I 'm avoiding
1) Dressing baby.
2) Writing my novel.
I have my Millionaire Authors Club meeting tonight. Its been about three weeks since we last met and I haven't written a word. And, yet, with the clock ticking Poe-like, I'm still not putting finger to keyboard. And I only have two chapters left of my epic boooook. You'd think I'd put everyone out of their misery and just finished the horrid thing.
But no, I procrastinate still.
Here's a haiku about my problem. But that said I'm feeling too lazy to even google the rules of haiku so its probably not really even a proper one. I could just call it a very short poem?
120,000 words
inertia seeps
no book deal for me.
inertia seeps
no book deal for me.
Sigh. Even the telly is boring baby now - she's rolling on the floor humming to herself. Sorta like the mad polar bears in Dublin zoo who used to just walk up and down and up and down, swaying gently, insanely.
Okay. baby steps.
700 words before one o'clock. Break. Coffee, lunch etc. Pick up elder Oubliette spawn. 700 words while they chillax after their tough day at school. Feed and shout at the children till about 6pm. Then 700 words before 8 o'clock when I must depart for M.A.C. That would have the chapter finished.
I can do it!
Perhaps.
Update: 1000 words done by 1 o'clock! We're ahead of schedule. Time for coffee.
Update 2: 1500 by dinner time...
Update 3: 2600 words by 8 o'clock! Hurrah! And chapter finished!
I should be doing something else
I'm blogging as usual because I should be doing something else. Anything else. The baby is in her pyjamas still and it is 11 am. I, you'll be glad to hear, am dressed.
The TV is on - children's chirpy chirpy smiley smiley smack them all in the gob telly. We watch too much telly in this house. When I refused to put it on the other day, the baby checked the scart cables to see if that was why it wouldn't come on. I am serious. I was part proud. Part shamed.
So, here specifically is what I 'm avoiding
1) Dressing baby.
2) Writing my novel.
I have my Millionaire Authors Club meeting tonight. Its been about three weeks since we last met and I haven't written a word. And, yet, with the clock ticking Poe-like, I'm still not putting finger to keyboard. And I only have two chapters left of my epic boooook. You'd think I'd put everyone out of their misery and just finished the horrid thing.
But no, I procrastinate still.
Here's a haiku about my problem. But that said I'm feeling too lazy to even google the rules of haiku so its probably not really even a proper one. I could just call it a very short poem?
Sigh. Even the telly is boring baby now - she's rolling on the floor humming to herself. Sorta like the mad polar bears in Dublin zoo who used to just walk up and down and up and down, swaying gently, insanely.
Okay. baby steps.
700 words before one o'clock. Break. Coffee, lunch etc. Pick up elder Oubliette spawn. 700 words while they chillax after their tough day at school. Feed and shout at the children till about 6pm. Then 700 words before 8 o'clock when I must depart for M.A.C. That would have the chapter finished.
I can do it!
Perhaps.
Update: 1000 words done by 1 o'clock! We're ahead of schedule. Time for coffee.
Update 2: 1500 by dinner time...
Update 3: 2600 words by 8 o'clock! Hurrah! And chapter finished!
The TV is on - children's chirpy chirpy smiley smiley smack them all in the gob telly. We watch too much telly in this house. When I refused to put it on the other day, the baby checked the scart cables to see if that was why it wouldn't come on. I am serious. I was part proud. Part shamed.
So, here specifically is what I 'm avoiding
1) Dressing baby.
2) Writing my novel.
I have my Millionaire Authors Club meeting tonight. Its been about three weeks since we last met and I haven't written a word. And, yet, with the clock ticking Poe-like, I'm still not putting finger to keyboard. And I only have two chapters left of my epic boooook. You'd think I'd put everyone out of their misery and just finished the horrid thing.
But no, I procrastinate still.
Here's a haiku about my problem. But that said I'm feeling too lazy to even google the rules of haiku so its probably not really even a proper one. I could just call it a very short poem?
120,000 words
inertia seeps
no book deal for me.
inertia seeps
no book deal for me.
Sigh. Even the telly is boring baby now - she's rolling on the floor humming to herself. Sorta like the mad polar bears in Dublin zoo who used to just walk up and down and up and down, swaying gently, insanely.
Okay. baby steps.
700 words before one o'clock. Break. Coffee, lunch etc. Pick up elder Oubliette spawn. 700 words while they chillax after their tough day at school. Feed and shout at the children till about 6pm. Then 700 words before 8 o'clock when I must depart for M.A.C. That would have the chapter finished.
I can do it!
Perhaps.
Update: 1000 words done by 1 o'clock! We're ahead of schedule. Time for coffee.
Update 2: 1500 by dinner time...
Update 3: 2600 words by 8 o'clock! Hurrah! And chapter finished!
Friday, November 13, 2009
Drama Queen
Our wonderful friend Joan left us yesterday. We all knew she was unwell, but no one expected to lose her so suddenly. Without her, we won't laugh as heartily again. Without her, we won't face life with quite so much courage. Without her, our world has lost it most vibrant colours. We miss you and love you Drama Queen.
Drama Queen
Our wonderful friend Joan left us yesterday. We all knew she was unwell, but no one expected to lose her so suddenly. Without her, we won't laugh as heartily again. Without her, we won't face life with quite so much courage. Without her, our world has lost it most vibrant colours. We miss you and love you Drama Queen.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
X-Factor and the meaning of life
Apparently Jeward went to the same school as the Oubliette boys.
The Oubliette boys are thrilled with this information as they are possibly the twins biggest fans. There are tense and difficult arguments in the Oubliette household about the merits of performance versus talent. The kids come down on the side of spectacle, I say, in the end, its got to be about the talent. And Mr Oubliette tears out what little hair is left, tears streaming down his face, wailing and gnashing of teeth begging not to be made watch any more of this rubbish.
Middle philosophical child has decided one thing though that we can all agree upon. He reckons Simon Cowell is unlikely to get into heaven.
The gospel message a few weeks ago - the old rich man, eye of a needle story - made a big impression on him. He felt torn recently when I told him Consultants, of the medical kind, make a lot of money. He thought about it for a while, then decided that as they spend their time helping people, even though they are paid lots of money, they may still get to their eternal reward.
Older, megalomaniac Oubliette son - ironically utterly corrupted by his communion money - has been noticeably silent on the topic.
Anyway, with this recession, there is little fear of this become a problem for the Oubliettes anytime soon.
The Oubliette boys are thrilled with this information as they are possibly the twins biggest fans. There are tense and difficult arguments in the Oubliette household about the merits of performance versus talent. The kids come down on the side of spectacle, I say, in the end, its got to be about the talent. And Mr Oubliette tears out what little hair is left, tears streaming down his face, wailing and gnashing of teeth begging not to be made watch any more of this rubbish.
Middle philosophical child has decided one thing though that we can all agree upon. He reckons Simon Cowell is unlikely to get into heaven.
The gospel message a few weeks ago - the old rich man, eye of a needle story - made a big impression on him. He felt torn recently when I told him Consultants, of the medical kind, make a lot of money. He thought about it for a while, then decided that as they spend their time helping people, even though they are paid lots of money, they may still get to their eternal reward.
Older, megalomaniac Oubliette son - ironically utterly corrupted by his communion money - has been noticeably silent on the topic.
Anyway, with this recession, there is little fear of this become a problem for the Oubliettes anytime soon.
X-Factor and the meaning of life
Apparently Jeward went to the same school as the Oubliette boys.
The Oubliette boys are thrilled with this information as they are possibly the twins biggest fans. There are tense and difficult arguments in the Oubliette household about the merits of performance versus talent. The kids come down on the side of spectacle, I say, in the end, its got to be about the talent. And Mr Oubliette tears out what little hair is left, tears streaming down his face, wailing and gnashing of teeth begging not to be made watch any more of this rubbish.
Middle philosophical child has decided one thing though that we can all agree upon. He reckons Simon Cowell is unlikely to get into heaven.
The gospel message a few weeks ago - the old rich man, eye of a needle story - made a big impression on him. He felt torn recently when I told him Consultants, of the medical kind, make a lot of money. He thought about it for a while, then decided that as they spend their time helping people, even though they are paid lots of money, they may still get to their eternal reward.
Older, megalomaniac Oubliette son - ironically utterly corrupted by his communion money - has been noticeably silent on the topic.
Anyway, with this recession, there is little fear of this become a problem for the Oubliettes anytime soon.
The Oubliette boys are thrilled with this information as they are possibly the twins biggest fans. There are tense and difficult arguments in the Oubliette household about the merits of performance versus talent. The kids come down on the side of spectacle, I say, in the end, its got to be about the talent. And Mr Oubliette tears out what little hair is left, tears streaming down his face, wailing and gnashing of teeth begging not to be made watch any more of this rubbish.
Middle philosophical child has decided one thing though that we can all agree upon. He reckons Simon Cowell is unlikely to get into heaven.
The gospel message a few weeks ago - the old rich man, eye of a needle story - made a big impression on him. He felt torn recently when I told him Consultants, of the medical kind, make a lot of money. He thought about it for a while, then decided that as they spend their time helping people, even though they are paid lots of money, they may still get to their eternal reward.
Older, megalomaniac Oubliette son - ironically utterly corrupted by his communion money - has been noticeably silent on the topic.
Anyway, with this recession, there is little fear of this become a problem for the Oubliettes anytime soon.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Brrrr....
I'm bloody freezing. Mr Oubliette has man flu. Baby Oubliette is master classing tantrums.
And with no Poetry Bus to force me to write, I'm not creating anything.
Other than resentment.
I need to go to the shops. With man-flu victim at home, I can do this without the company of crazy baby diva. But, it's only the heat from the (now fixed) laptop battery that's keeping me warm. If I throw off my electronic hot water bottle, then I'll freeze solid. And that's before I even leave the house.
Truly, I have a difficult life.
And maybe I'll even shop unwisely if I ever get to the shops because I'm feeling cold. I might buy chocolate. And cake. And biscuits. My body crying out for the energy they'd provide, to warm me up. Ruin the diet that's only about three hours old.
Disaster.
Any tips on how I can resolve this incredibly awful dilemma will be gratefully received.
And with no Poetry Bus to force me to write, I'm not creating anything.
Other than resentment.
I need to go to the shops. With man-flu victim at home, I can do this without the company of crazy baby diva. But, it's only the heat from the (now fixed) laptop battery that's keeping me warm. If I throw off my electronic hot water bottle, then I'll freeze solid. And that's before I even leave the house.
Truly, I have a difficult life.
And maybe I'll even shop unwisely if I ever get to the shops because I'm feeling cold. I might buy chocolate. And cake. And biscuits. My body crying out for the energy they'd provide, to warm me up. Ruin the diet that's only about three hours old.
Disaster.
Any tips on how I can resolve this incredibly awful dilemma will be gratefully received.
Brrrr....
I'm bloody freezing. Mr Oubliette has man flu. Baby Oubliette is master classing tantrums.
And with no Poetry Bus to force me to write, I'm not creating anything.
Other than resentment.
I need to go to the shops. With man-flu victim at home, I can do this without the company of crazy baby diva. But, it's only the heat from the (now fixed) laptop battery that's keeping me warm. If I throw off my electronic hot water bottle, then I'll freeze solid. And that's before I even leave the house.
Truly, I have a difficult life.
And maybe I'll even shop unwisely if I ever get to the shops because I'm feeling cold. I might buy chocolate. And cake. And biscuits. My body crying out for the energy they'd provide, to warm me up. Ruin the diet that's only about three hours old.
Disaster.
Any tips on how I can resolve this incredibly awful dilemma will be gratefully received.
And with no Poetry Bus to force me to write, I'm not creating anything.
Other than resentment.
I need to go to the shops. With man-flu victim at home, I can do this without the company of crazy baby diva. But, it's only the heat from the (now fixed) laptop battery that's keeping me warm. If I throw off my electronic hot water bottle, then I'll freeze solid. And that's before I even leave the house.
Truly, I have a difficult life.
And maybe I'll even shop unwisely if I ever get to the shops because I'm feeling cold. I might buy chocolate. And cake. And biscuits. My body crying out for the energy they'd provide, to warm me up. Ruin the diet that's only about three hours old.
Disaster.
Any tips on how I can resolve this incredibly awful dilemma will be gratefully received.
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