I Hate Poem

So, I'm on board with TFE's Monday poem. He requested that we wrote a protest poem. I know that such a poem really should be a dignified affair, highlighting injustice, righting wrongs etc... but mine is just a hate filled rant. What can I say? I've got issues.

And just for my international reader's enjoyment of the below poem - an explanation - Twink, (aka Adele King) is an Irish 'entertainer'. She's remarkably annoying. Though the leaked phone message she left on her ex-husband answering machine a few years ago was quite amusing. (click here for the famous - Zip up your mickey)

Okay, let the unpleasantness begin..


I HATE


I hate litter, I hate graffiti,
I hate the ancient bust of Queen Nefertiti
Tenuous rhymes in protest poems
mobile charges when one roams
All inspire spiteful moans.
Politicians, bankers, those infectious cankers
(I bet you thought I'd say wankers)

But I do try to be original
as I spew my hate filled rant.
What else do I think is really pants?
Can't feel the love for annoying teens
Demeans me to say it -
but I've got reams of revulsion just for them.
I scorn all those born after me.

I have an abhorrence for Josie Lawrence,
(Her real name's Wendy, did you know?)
A big aversion to the Cherry Coke version
of that delicious sugary drink.


I think that I could happily murder Twink
Tie a stone around her neck, watch her sink.
Hmmm...Maybe I've just crossed a line
in this mucky malevolent rhyme
I'll reprieve Ms Adele King - as long as she
promises not to sing.
Or act. Or ever go again on TV.
On these conditions I'll set her free.


Rain and traffic jams
Mussels and stinky clams
in fact shellfish of any sort
really get my goat.
Caught short, much too fat,
people who say 'apartment' instead of 'flat'.
Long hair, Truth or Dare,
the incorrect classification of the Koala as a bear.
Rare blood types, laddering tights
toddlers with gnashers who are inclined to bites
Make the steam come out my ears
shortens my life by many years.

What else annoys me, let me see
Reality programs, boring telly
(but not that one with the songs - Glee
for some reason this show really appeals to me.)


This is a protest ditty
railing against all that's crap and shitty
which seems to be quite a lot
a melting pot of this and that
random tat that invades my brain
give me pain, a grey existential nimbus of
psychic rain.

I seem to have resentment, for contentment
Thankful for the rancor of my black heart.
Perhaps I should go back to the beginning
When it was good to be winning, not spinning
webs built from bile, spun out a mile a minute.

Okay, I'll be happy from now on.
As the French say, it'll all be 'bon'.
But just before I change my ways,
there is just one thing I want to say.

I've always inexplicably hated guitarist Phil Lynott.