Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Total Feckin' Post...

Who thought this educating children was a good idea?

There was I, innocently wishing misfortune on all those picked for publication over me supportively reading my blog chums (- henceforth to be known as blums -) posts, when my eldest child starts reading over my shoulder... 'What's that?' he said, squinting, puzzling - 'totalfeckin'eejit'? He tried it again and realised what it said.

When you're nine, there is nothing funnier than swearing.

I had an entire afternoon of the nine year old, and then of course, the seven year old yelling 'Total Feckin' Eeejit!' and then collapsing in giggles. Thank God the baby has speech delay or we'd have been in real trouble. She just joined in the hysterical giggles.

It was eldest sons first bit of news when Mr Oubliette came home.

"Hi Daddy."

"Hi son."

"Guess what Daddy?"

"What son?"

"Mammy knows someone called Total Fucking Eejit!" (Yes, it had become 'Fucking eejit' by then.)


Keep them ignorant I say.

On further news, it may have become clear to some people that I might not have managed to get my genius amazing mindblowingly brilliant work into a publication (or two!) this week. Of course, being me, I am used to rejection. And, you know, I don't really mind if there is a delay in my complete supreme talent being recognised. It's just the other people doing well I don't like. Makes me bitter. Worse than a lemon. Everyone must fail. Okay, now that that's clear, I'll move on.

Just don't expect my congratulations to sound sincere.


Niamh B said...

He has a lot to answer for. That eejit.

Titus said...

Blake was never recognised in his own lifetime. Or published. Or something.

My two youngest were addicted (sorry, I was addicted first, and then they joined in) to the American "Pimp My Ride", which I called "Titivate My Car" until they were able to read and queried my duplicity. We henceforth stopped watching it.

I send you a sisterly Pah! for the rest.

Colm Keegan said...


Totalfeckineejit said...


Also if it is any consolation at all every single aspect and fibre of my life apart from these few brief fleeting lines going into a mag is a complete ,total, unmitigated disaster that comparatively makes failure look like a an achievement and death a merciful release.

Surely that's cause for celebration?

The Dead Acorn said...

Had this been all happened just a few weeks earlier, the funeral of "We Will Rock You" may have been far more embarrassing.

Domestic Oub said...

Goodness Acorn, good point, phew - a close shave.
Titus, Lol :) I always wondered after watching the show if the car owners could ever get those cars insured...but that's kinda sad of me...

TFE, I feel much better now, hearing about the ruin of your life.

Colm Keegan said...

why didn't my Arf get a reply like all the other posts? Not eloquent enough? :(

Domestic Oub said...

Quite the opposite Uisce - it was eloquence itself that could not be inmproved on...

Rachel Fox said...

United in rejection. I've been rejected by almost every poetry publication known to humankind!