Monday, September 7, 2009

More TFE inspired poetry...

If it wasn't for TFE I wouldn't be blogging at all. Bad situation. but hey, here's the TFE inspired poem...

Weir Cafe, Monday.

Raven steam, quiet street, language settles.
Teaspoon,crumbs,glutinous milk.
Space contracts, a stranger's stare
envy or distaste?
Puddles pool, waste water worn.
Coffee and bile fight.
Rain flogging cataratic windows.
Sugar in tubes.
Teal velvet seats.
Loneliness and Darjeeling
today's specials.


Totalfeckineejit said...

I was hoping it was Bewleys but the teal seats tell it wasn't

'Loneliness and Darjeeling
today's specials.' What a great ending, I loved that and also 'Rain flogging cataratic windows.' Great alliteration halfway and overall the essence of the lonely cafe experience where 'space contracts, we've all felt that, right? Lovely D'Oub , thanks for joining in again. More to follow ,if you can stand it!

Emerging Writer said...

I'm with TFE. Great ending.

Domestic Oub said...

Thanks TFE and EW :)

Please, TFE, more Monday challanges! After schools runs, swimming lessons and GAA practice on a Monday, it is bliss to put ten pence in my meter and do some writing.

Niamh B said...

Nice one Oub

Titus said...

Aw, I know I'm echoing but that is a spectacularly good ending.
I like all the poem's techniques, actually. "Teal velvet seats" is recreating an actual memory in me!

Enjoyed this.

Domestic Oub said...

Thanks Titus :) I am actually in love with the teal velvetness of the cafe in the poem... and its generally quite a happy place... :)

Rachel Fox said...

Bit late but I agree - great last two lines.